OK. Here you go.
Most of this is my opinion, and not to be misconstrued as objective fact.
Proportion. Always think about proportion of elements to each other. The knife is quite thin to start off and the heavy taper on the tang is elegant, but then there are these fat scales. To my eye, the handle is way too thick for such a thin blade and tang. The scales on this knife should be slender, but still curved on the sides. This takes practice. It took me a long time to realize that 1/4" thick is plenty.
Lines and relationships to each other. The angled bolster and subsequent brass spacers do not relate well to the straight and square plunge cuts. The sudden juxtaposition of these lines looks awkward and out of place to me. I would have liked it more had the bolsters and brass spacers been parallel to the plunge lines. For angled bolsters, they typically tip the other direction (longer on top/spine edge) and the plunge cuts run the same way.
Speaking of those plunge cuts.....the ricasso is much too large for that configuration. Making the ebony bolster larger would have solved the pin issues by giving you ample room to arrange the pins and made the ricasso area smaller and more in proportion to the entire package. Moving the finger guard back and leaving a smaller ricasso in front of it would have solved the choil problem Alan is seeing. I don't think your choil is too large, it's just not in the right location compared to everything else going on around it, or everything else is in the wrong location. Take your pick.
Your original drawing was fine the way it was. If you hadn't chosen to do plunge cuts and ricasso, a lot of these things I'm seeing now would have never occurred had you stayed with your first idea. You could also have added those elements pretty easily just by making a very slender ricasso that started on the curve about 1/8" in front of the bolster. Clean, simple and practical.
Now for what I really like about this knife.
The profile shape is sweet. A very seriously good shape for an EDC and well executed. The curves are smooth and flow nicely through the form.
I really like the fact that you purposely decided to put some sort of guard/finger stop on this knife. The shape is good and looks very functional.
Pin placements in the main body are spot on. The distance from the rear pin to the heel matches the space from the front pin to the brass spacer, and the mosaic pin is almost dead nuts centered between the two and top to bottom. Could just be the angle of the camera or that wide angle lens, but it looks a tiny bit closer to the spine than it is to the belly.
The choice of materials and colors really makes this handle pop and the finish on the blade looks very clean.
All in all, I'd say this was an extremely ambitious project for a first go and most "noobs" would have flailed and failed. You did not.
I put your success down to two things. Your experience as a craftsman and having Dave's guidance.