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Joshua States

Determination Defined

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Lol! Why do I relate to that? The next one should be “Perseverance: the inability and denial that drives you to fix something you or someone else did that was stupid because of your determination (also see stubbornness)!”

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I determined that if I had a boat paddle and a ham sandwich I could knock a determined polar bear clean out.

I figure I could do some sort of scare tactic first. Strip off my cloths, beat my chest, kick up some snow, call him names. Now, Mr. Polar Bear, just getting off from work and headed home to his bickering wife and ungreatful children; woke up looking for a reason to maul somebody. Feeling both annoyed and territorial by the sight of a nude crazy person kicking ruts in his front yard; he would have no choice but to shuffle on over. Once he got within paddling distance, if he raised up (like in the movies) I could toss the sandwich right at his face. All that delicious smelling ham headed right for him would break his concentration. Within this instant I might be able to send that boat paddle right across his jugular and windpipe.

At which point I would brush the loose neck fur off my reclaimed sandwich and enjoy it with a victory tankard full of the finest ale from Mr Polar Bear's shack.

That is my definition of determination. Now I just gotta find a polar bear to test this theory... 

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Is the ham processed or is it a country ham? That would determine the outcome with a determined polar bear. 

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I'm not sure. Depends which category Boar's Head fits into. Or, should I go all out and smoke a big ol' ham hoc?

What kind of bread are we thinking here? White, wheat, pumpernickel, rye, pretzel bun, sesame seed bun, a baguette, toco shell, waffle, cornbread, banana bread, seaweed wrap, french toast?

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Confucius say, better never to begin.....once begun, better finish.

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